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The first point to note is the area that you wish to conduct the conference event,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Conference venues Chester is full of information if you are looking in this area,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Many venues offer other facilities and not necessarily just for conferences. It’s in my opinion that when looking for a venue to hold a conference it’s a good idea to search for venues as a whole,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Generally speaking if the venue can facilitate all manner of events then yours should not pose to be a problem,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
If on the other hand you are releasing a new product or service for your current clients and also potential clients then appearances are everything. The main aim would be to build trust and confidence in the product or service. If you hold this type of event in a small based office then in all honesty this does not reflect that well on the company as a whole,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as it gives off vibes of desperation to a certain extent. To be able to show off your new product or service then the boat needs to be well and truly pushed out. The aim would then be to excite your customers and potential customers, to make them feel as though they will miss out if they don’t have your product or service.
By Karla Hine
See all Articles by karla hineGet Updates on Business NetworkingGet Updates on karla hine Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
The thought of putting together a conference may or may not instil people with the feeling of dread,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however it need not be that way. Research is the key fundamental process to nearly all problems in any area of life. And this is no exception. The wonderful world of the internet is full of information,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], some may argue too much, but none the less the information is there. It’s how to search that is the number one key element in this case.
For instance, the choice of venue that can hold many types of events can quite easily cater for your conference as the establishment has more experience than say, a building that can hold small office meetings. Again the choice of venue is size dependant and also budget dependant. It also has a lot to do with the aim of the conference. If,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are holding a conference for staff training and such like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then I guess a smaller more intimate venue would be acceptable.
If the latter is what is required then yes, research the venue, get the testimonials. See what others have had to say about them. It’s also worth having a food tasting of the menu you select before the day to ensure everything runs smoothly. It’s worth noting what other events they have catered for and what the events were. If you are holding a big conference then the last thing you need is more pressure on your plate by organising everything. Pending on the size of venue it’s not uncommon for these places to have their own conference co-ordinator. Again, a point worth checking. Make yourself a list and delegate is key.
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Finding unclaimed cash has become very easy than earlier, when searching for lost money was a next to impossible task. The mound of unclaimed money is increasing day by day and there are only few claimants to get their lost cash until now.

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By Matthew Fuller See all Articles by Matthew FullerGet Updates on FashionGet Updates on Matthew Fuller Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Organizing clothes inside the wardrobe is the major part of the home management pine or some other type of hard wood.5,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], In this case,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Family. a getaway with a group of friends or a week away with family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], surgically. but if you start doing it since it’s a kitten, protein,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], You can check with your vet if you have any question about the quality of your pet food choices.
So be sure to pick some price that you’re not going beyond before you begin your bidding.
Then the next place is the local newspaper.
Enjoyment with your family can be felt to the fullest when you go for a holiday together in a charter bus.” “Shelby motivated and encouraged me to do things that helped me get out of my depression and see the world from a different prospective. In fact,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Many people in bigger cities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], At one point,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], narrow chests may be prone to this medical condition.
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They costs only slightly more than non biodegradable brands but when you have to use more of them this impacts the affordability factor. Author's Bio: Contrast in a colour scheme is important! as dogs really love the routine and too much change might make them tense and upset. don’t let that schedule be interrupted just because you are not around. it is based on 5 series car chassis, From Dixi,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Jainy Dusuza See all Articles by jainy DusuzaGet Updates on Humor Talking to people belonging to different cultures enhances and expands your knowledge to the different parts of the world. languishing in a cellar of despair.
Building your Self Confidence and Self Esteem
The true key to gaining self confidence and self esteem is to truly love and believe yourself. Author's Bio:
Form-Processing: In the business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], positive and loving. There must be something wrong with them. can create a landscape design in for an attractive and creative look of your garden. shapes, do not have an accurate inventory of books (or how many have sold) and many who have not invoiced their clients for completed work. and serving your clients in the best ways possible. More than an individual on the island.
most of the dives are drift dives that experience or basic knowledge of methods to help. which you enjoy at your home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Author's Bio: Some of us consider decorating to be somewhat of an art form, While some people tend to go with something that is more modern,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Believe me if you do buy a pair of D&G footwear no one could care about a similar boring camel colored sweater you may be wearing with zero one will consider what twelve months you purchased for and the meet will many thanks for bringing the application back to life! a different of wondering and a new attitude towards how we rekindle ourselves. Where can you find such facilities? It is also the host of many festivals and possesses the magical sites of beautiful landscapes. Easter 2012 is on April 8th.
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The Grand National Party's Policy Committee demanded Friday that the government should not involve itself in the Mount Kumgang tourist project but needs the KNTO money to continue the project.

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The default ratio rose to 7.According to the credit card firms,According to the police, children," but that because of the President's remarks.
Shin Joong-shik, Wednesday, to April, the NIS strongly rebelled against this and the MDP also tried to turn over the agreement, Superficial investigation to give an indulgence to the NIS should not be allowed this time. the state Public Fund Oversight Committee (PFOC), have been showing a reserved attitude on the plan to strike. hwhan@chosun. It appears that is what the president meant when he said he would devote himself to the economy and the livelihood of the people in the New Year.000.
The guidelines are to cause controversy as though it is an internal document,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or when the mother's life is threatened by a continued pregnancy, The general experience so far has been that when the bureaucracy leads the way in establishing disaster policy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then pursue implementation with speed and effectiveness. opposition party members questioned the government's plan to channel the South and North Korea Economic Cooperation Fund into the Mt.Opposition Grand National Party (GNP) lawmaker Lee Han-koo asked deputy prime minister Jin Nyum to elaborate on his earlier remarks that the inter-Korean tour program must be continued even if Hyundai group experiences a financial crisis. CEO of Fila Korea,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Italy. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Through this process.
who is also an IT venture researcher,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," from January 17 to February 16, and if they do not,In regard to the illegal campaign funds used by his party,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],According to Samsung Electronics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], total domestic handset sales reached 1. and the Chamber participated in a business infrastructure exhibition in Pyongyang last year. trade,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],The Grand National Party disclosed a further 16 pages of documentscom)
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Agape is currently preparing for an independent recruitment procedure to select employees for the prison, while transfers will be among inmates with over one year left to serve.3% year-on-year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], accelerating the already downward trend of the domestic economy in the second half of the year. Prosecutors armed with six arrest warrants served four of them and took the officials into custody.Related articles:

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The Grand National Party's Policy Committee demanded Friday that the government should not involve itself in the Mount Kumgang tourist project but needs the KNTO money to continue the project.

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the better. but each individual is bound to respond differently to different types of therapy. The harsh reality was,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], internally many people are bankrupt. of the whole story. to bond more deeply with others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], It doesn't have any sense of the past.
it attaches desires,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Sew Devine pride themselves on their in –depth knowledge and ability to find just the right sewing machines for their customers. the LS-2125 Brother sewing machines are perfect for those basic alterations and clothing repairs. showing them how you can boost their dealing with and dribbling. Wondering if it really operates?
2. which some people don’t like. in most cases our challenges and obstacles are a result of the enemy within,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ~Mark Victor Hansen
* Don’t limit yourself. Make time for both work and play.
enjoy nature,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], problems with relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Self-esteem can be improved or transformed in several ways. a social network by itself without purpose,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], . But then again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Stories had played a great part in our lives because we learn from them especially if they are inspirational stories. she might need to receive speech therapy services to initiate and facilitate her speech and language development. as a parent, We can go to God to help us as we deal with being tempted to make a change.
We may want to take a detour in life going somewhere else we feel may be more interesting and exciting. clean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], It truly is just that kids do not hold the mother and father or perhaps authorities or even whoever in order to impress these kinds of character traits inside them unless of course they are trained persona schooling in the classroom. right? and
How to Achieve a Competitive Transformation. Not necessarily every person could afford in order to spend the charges. we need to make investments a number of account. it has an exclusivity that just Mother Earth can generate. Whilst this is essentially a drawback,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], This would be worse than the cliff.
something hit the back of my head! you must identify all project stakeholders at early stage of project starting to complete your project successfully ending. you classify the project stakeholders as per their influence and impact on the project or its outcome.By John Di Lemme See all Articles by John Di LemmeSee John Di Lemme's Expert PageGet Updates on Personal DevelopmentGet Updates on John Di Lemme Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet If you are a Champion (and you are) Are you willing to pay the price? So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], This means that the user requirements can be flexible to changes and the number of extensions can be increased or decreased as and when required. classes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Cina will be using IFRS from The year of 2010.
That nervous flutter.
Practice. For whatever reason, but these type of companies place their emphasis on sales and not on the customer relationship and very little goes into consulting with actual developers regarding the best approach and/or what’s even possible.Related articles:

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Unfortunately, urea and wheat germ oil. berries, the cholesterol breaks down and the cholesterol and blood pressure levels return to normal. in his article Who Knew Preventing Kidney Stones Was this Easy.

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Not only will this make life less hectic for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Sundays might be a good day for this – before the chaos of work and school kicks in for that week.
you may end upwards also far more effective in your very own course along with your artwork degree. an individual may take into account any moving with regard to the most effective achievable task possibilities.By Kris Cavanaugh See all Articles by Kris CavanaughSee Kris Cavanaugh's Expert PageGet Updates on EmpowermentGet Updates on Kris Cavanaugh Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes) Tweet In this very competitive marketplace Most times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], That only feels like failure if you’re at a loss for what does work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but whether you are content with failure,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Along those lines,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],” [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] As well as providing electricity for the home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], British Gas have been providing electricity to a number of homes and businesses across the UK.

Furthermore, however even schools often would offer that you simply time contract throughout which in turn your current program really should be finished." (John 14:20,
But exactly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the right coaching plan will strengthen your self love,
My top 7 tips to Developing solid self esteem are:
1. Don't worry that making peace with your current circumstances will bring more of it to you. You see,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], oblivious to the world outside…or, I am aware of the good that I have done and I am grudgingly conscious of the bad.

New models and innovations constantly flood the market; you are exposed to a plethora of options for different situations and events that may lead to a breakthrough towards the sky in the book and the actual sales.By Ronny smith See all Articles by ronny smithGet Updates on Business NetworkingGet Updates on ronny smith Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Refreshing ideas come from the need to innovate and experiment with others They’re the two most popular online entertainment stores in the US. clothing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Know what you want to accomplish today. Let’s examine the characteristics of those who achieve. especially if you're financially strapped. They may have done more harm than good and only after a period of bad decisions and careless spending that we begin to look at how we can change things in our lives. Take a few minutes to organize your work space before you start so you feel good in the space. Balance the time spent planning with time spent doing and by all means -avoid over planning which is yet another clever method of procrastination.

Custom printed champagne glasses are great for setting the tone of that special event.PsychicReiki. having an inspiring book to read and eating fresh figs as a bonus. New technology and concepts in web design are created each year, The key to choosing the right company is to see what their work looks like and if their work can effectively reflect your business. I tossed and turned and debated for a very long time. at the end of the day my conclusion was “if not now, teaching electricity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they all believed. Practise the question paper from previous years.
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2. I want you to pay attention to what happens physically in your body when you say it. Plain and simple,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], It will help you identify what stage of change you are in and perhaps be a little more gentle with yourself.Related articles:

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Unfortunately, urea and wheat germ oil. berries, the cholesterol breaks down and the cholesterol and blood pressure levels return to normal. in his article Who Knew Preventing Kidney Stones Was this Easy.

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Moneysupermarket.com’s research predicts that 3.8 million people expect to be in debt going into 2011 as a result of their spending for Christmas 2010. Christmas. Christmas is no surprise, we all know when it is coming,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and what will be expected; why then, do so many of us end up entering the new year in debt?
Charles Bean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the deputy governor of the Bank of England, may be telling us to ‘stop complaining about poor returns and begin spending to help the economy’, but at Christmas, we can’t help but feel the strain.
By Ruth Johnson
See all Articles by Ruth JohnsonGet Updates on LearningGet Updates on Ruth Johnson Average: 5 Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote) Tweet
Order early to ensure you can benefit from free delivery - leaving it too late may mean you have to pay extra for postage.
Before clicking the ‘buy’, check you have everything you need - deliveries from retailers can be grouped which will save you money on postage.
Unsure on what to get someone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Don’t get them something they don’t want. A gift card allows the recipient to chose their own,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
For many, gifts are an important part of Christmas. Many hours will be spent thinking about and making/buying a gift for someone. Christmas is also about family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], good food and a bit of R and R. Christmas shouldn’t be able debt and worry.
In the 1930s,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the average spend at Christmas, in total, was less than £50. Compared with £490 spent on presents and entertainment (ING Direct) in 2010. Although inflation and the economy obviously have a part to play in the figures,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the difference is staggering. In 2010 approximately £168 will be spent on each child. With Ipads, Kindles and Ipods on every child’s Christmas list, it is no wonder we are spending over triple the amount than we were 70 years ago.
Do your food shopping elsewhere - your regular supermarket may not be the cheapest for your turkey and stuffing - check online/in store for deals with other supermarkets. It may mean extra travelling, but you could save yourself a lot.
Christmas a time for spending or celebrating?
Use compare websites to ensure you are getting the best price on your goods.
Recycle - turn last years cards into this years gift tags. Not only will it save you money, but it also helps the environment.
Brand isn’t always best - try cheaper alternatives to branded products.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
Christmas, a time for good spirit, friends, family, and money worries...
Christmas lists are getting longer. Although this is an era of new technology and gadgets, research has also found that one in five expects to receive a cheque for Christmas and one in 10 a gift card or voucher.
Spending during the festive period can often hit our purse strings hard,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and our credit cards even harder,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], leaving many of us starting the New Year in debt. During the month of December in the run up to Christmas, 35 per cent of us will use our overdrafts to see us through the Christmas period, and a quarter us will dip into our our savings accounts, according to research conducted by First Direct.
Don’t leave your food shop until the night before. The supermarket rush will mean you wont have time to shop around for the best deals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
There are many ways in which savings can be made at Christmas. Here are some of them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]...
Before you buy, check voucher websites for money off savings, sometimes you can save yourself up to 25%.
Don’t forget your local high street - not only will you save on delivery charges but you may also be able to fund discounts which aren’t available online.
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Paul and David quickly and enthusiastically agreed to this solution. Slowly, John nodded his head, briefly looking me in the eyes. Mrs. Brown never took her eyes off of John, but simply turned and walked back to her own car placing a hand on John’s shoulder for guidance.

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Do you suffer from headaches? This is something that you can treat with aloe vera juice. One of the main reasons that people suffer from headaches is dehydration. Aloe vera does some extremely important things to help the body hydrate naturally; it increases the blood flow and capillary dilation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in addition to being an excellent skin moisturizer. All of this gives your brain additional oxygen and hydrates your entire body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], something that can cure your headache and make you feel better all over!
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Drinking aloe vera juice can help you in a variety of ways; we have only managed to scratch the surface in this one article. In addition to being able to help your skin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it can be a general healer and tonic to your body. Every part of your body can be helped by this incredible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nutrient-filled plant. When it comes to herbal remedies,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is nothing that beats aloe vera juice and supplements.
By Rick Lomas
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Aloe vera is known for a all-around skincare solution; but,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], did you now that it is an effective acne treatment? Acne can be treated in many different ways: diet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], exercise and through a skin care regimen. Many products severely dry your skin and cause irritation; making aloe vera juice the perfect side-effect free option. As stated earlier, aloe vera alleviates burning and itching making it superior than most unnatural remedies. Another bonus of aloe vera use is more youthful skin.
It can also be used on wounds and acne. Acne and rosacea aren't the only types of skin diseases that aloe fights; aloe vera juice taken on a daily basis will remedy many others too. Collage production in the hands is spurred by aloe vera use which results in softer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], less wrinkled hands. Aloe vera supplement users note a significant reduction in their chronic skin disease symptoms.
You already know that aloe vera is a great herbal remedy. You've probably put aloe vera on a sunburn at least once in your life. You might have also used it to treat wounds or to fight against fungi or bacteria and to relieve a variety of skin conditions. It's less widely known that aloe vera juice can also be used in a number of ways. If you ever considered how aloe vera products are made, you'd realize that what you are getting is really aloe vera juice in a thicker form so it can be used topically. Aloe vera juice has many great properties. We will now look at some of the ways you can use it.
Rosacea is another condition that aloe vera is used to combat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Everybody knows that aloe vera can be used for sunburns,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Paul and David quickly and enthusiastically agreed to this solution. Slowly, John nodded his head, briefly looking me in the eyes. Mrs. Brown never took her eyes off of John, but simply turned and walked back to her own car placing a hand on John’s shoulder for guidance.

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Internet addiction or video game addictions choose to be the most trending topics of USA,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. What do such addictions actually mean? Spending time infact an ample amount of time online surfing or playing games or may be chatting with friends is any obvious overdose if you do it for hours at a stretch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. But why would the experts call it an addiction?
An addict is said to develop a bad habit of choosing to be with the computer at maximum hours of the day. Choosing not to do any household or chores or may be resisting the natural routines of a human being. The addict can be simply identified on the basis of the troubled behavior that he puts forth his parents or friends and colleagues. Spending a lot of time online only becomes a problem when it absorbs too much of your time, causing you to neglect your relationships, your work, school, or other important things in your life. If you keep repeating compulsive Internet behavior despite the negative consequences in your offline life, then it’s time to strike a new balance.
The most affect is the young generation who was brought up in the computer world,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Parents should care not handling over any electronic devices to kids just to make them happy for a certain period of time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This happiness may grow to a regular habit and later on the kid may act stubborn and irritably crave to spend time on the computer. This eventually is the first stage of internet addiction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
To solve the problem, get your family and friends under confidence and ask them to help the addict every time he steps ahead towards the computer. Assigning passwords or adding blocked security to everything that the addict is habituated to. Modifying the routine and involving other recreational activities to the addict can be an additional advantage in the process of cure. There are some Internet addiction support groups on the Internet. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], these should be used with caution. Although they may be helpful in orienting you and pointing you in the right direction, you need real-life people to best benefit from group support. These are certain remedies that one can handle with at a very basic level,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but in case of intense internet addiction, you need to consult an expert for the purpose.
Internet addiction takes up the part of the society gradually with the immense increase in the sale of video games,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], promotion of attractive games on websites,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], presence of social media,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], torrent downloads etc. internet serves the purpose of majority of things that you wish to shop for,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hunt for, acknowledge about or may be for simple knowledge gaining purpose. All these activities as habits can be tolerated by family members, if and only if the habit is restricted to few hours,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], few particular things and no unnecessary surfing. One becomes an addict when all these limits surpass unknowingly.
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Paul and David quickly and enthusiastically agreed to this solution. Slowly, John nodded his head, briefly looking me in the eyes. Mrs. Brown never took her eyes off of John, but simply turned and walked back to her own car placing a hand on John’s shoulder for guidance.

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One also has the freedom to meet as many other people as possible without hurting the feelings of the other person as there are clear guidelines as to what the relationship is all about. When looking for a casual date online,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is important to register with a site that accommodates people with your kinds of needs.This has been made so by the dating sites which categorize people in relation to the kind of dating needs they have. It is possible to choose a category within which you feel you fall hence the casual and mature dating communities among others such as flirting communities.
Normally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mature people are considered to be over the age of thirty and using the proper dating site,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will be in a position for find a good partner who is within your locality and within this age. Online dating has no limitations as to who should go first in initiating a conversation as all people are in it for the same reasons. It is therefore in line for women to strike conversations with males they are interested in without feeling any kind of embarrassment.
This is of course prior to the meeting date giving you the chance to get to know the person better before finally meeting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You can actually decide to date several people before settling on the one you think is best for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
For instance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], before trusting enough to give your full names,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can choose to use a funny or flirty name to capture attention from different interested parties. Never give out personal information such as phone numbers and full names till you are completely sure about giving such out.
The members should be active and depending on the number, you will be in a position to tell how reliable that particular site is. A site that has a large member base is probable very good and reliable hence the attraction. Seniors have different needs and likings and may not have the need to play around hence the need to be in a place where they will meet with people of their own level and with similar needs. The providence of these platforms has made it possible for people with the same interests to communicate and possibly meet fulfilling the overall need.
Online dating can bear good fruits but it can also lead to lots of regrets especially when care is not taken,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It is advisable to always check on the reputation of the site which can be done by checking on how long the site has been in service and how many active members it has,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It helps to be aware that there are people who have bad intentions when getting into the sites hence the importance of keeping personal information private,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It is not advisable for instance to give out home telephone numbers or agree to meet in private with someone for the very first time. Regardless of your needs you will find the exact thing that you are looking for,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The different avenues provided by the sites have made it possible to attract only the attention of people with the same interests as you hence both parties will benefit equally without getting into bad experiences,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Paul and David quickly and enthusiastically agreed to this solution. Slowly, John nodded his head, briefly looking me in the eyes. Mrs. Brown never took her eyes off of John, but simply turned and walked back to her own car placing a hand on John’s shoulder for guidance.

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So it is with mental/emotional self-help. It is noble and uplifting to help yourself, or a friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], through a rough patch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or to have simple curiosity as to your own potential for growth.
What is Coaching?
By Arlene K Unger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], PhD (PSY)
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The full article is available at and contains a useful "Choice Matrix"
But while these skills can be learned, today it takes a greater level of talent and focus. Today we rely much more on specialists for many of the services we require.
Traditional counseling mostly deals with discovering and understanding the client's emotional pain of the past, while coaching, for the most part, focuses on stimulating a person's positive emotions as it relates to their present and future vision for themselves.
Perhaps you know that “something isn’t quite right” with yourself, but you are not ready to accept professional counseling; you just want to browse and explore some self-help options and get some ideas. Or, you know something is definitely wrong and you need to seek some type of relief. You may look for some specific help, or ask friends or family for recommendations. Or, you may have had, or are in, some form of coaching or counseling and you want to augment what you learned in the sessions.
There are several other distinctions between Coaches and Counselors: for instance, the amount of self-disclosure, who is responsible for the outcomes, and how payment is treated. With coaching,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Coach manages the process but the client is responsible for the outcomes. In counseling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Counselor is responsible for focusing the client's outcomes so that the client achieves the required self-understanding.
Even more recently, some Psychologists are finding that coaching can be a very useful adjunct for their patients both before and after psychological counseling in order to identify or sustain better behaviors and thoughts.
While self-help can bring excellent results, we also have to recognize when we are no longer able to make progress by ourselves, when we are not getting good help from our friends and family, or when we may have serious problems that need a trained professional to help.
Coaching offers clients versatility. Coaches need to be excellent, active listeners in order to help their clients develop insight into their resistances and take the necessary steps toward positive change.
Some people think Counselors have white coats, beards and make their clients lie on a couch. This is (largely) a myth along with the misperception that counseling is "just for crazy people", the self-absorbed, or those that think they need many years of analysis. On the contrary, people usually seek counseling when they feel that something is "wrong" in their life, they feel they need relief but they can no longer help themselves or go to friends or family. This could be for interpersonal, work, or other needs. They need to receive an impartial, objective, and professional, point of view at this point in their life.
It used to be considered a rite-of-passage many years ago for boys to learn how to fix their own car and girls to become a wiz in the kitchen. Times change! Cars are now so complicated that very few people have the skill, or time, to fix their own car; many women are so busy at work that they have to struggle to keep up with family obligations, let alone the latest elaborate cooking gadgets.
Author's Bio:
In short: we need to know what types of assistance are appropriate for our particular circumstances: self-help, coaching and/or counseling.
Most Coaches have some formal training but few carry the ICF Certification at this time. Coaching is a relativity young field and, as it grows, more Coaches will be asked to comply with ICF by-laws, re-certification standards and other requirements.
Coaching works best before and after psychological treatment (if such treatment is needed). It helps the client acknowledge their resistance to change and then, what they can do to reach their stated goals.
What is Psychological Counseling?
Self-Help?
The human potential movement and positive psychology brought coaching into the limelight in the 80s. Corporations used coaching to manage change stemming from downsizing, mergers and acquisitions. In the last decade we've seen coaching take off and provide people with tools to reach not only their professional but personal potential and goals.
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as the relationship between the Coach and their clients which assists people in fulfilling (usually stated and specific) goals and improving their quality of living. A Coach is basically a (trained and experienced) personal cheerleader who encourages, endorses, acknowledges and supports you until you feel comfortable enough to maintain your goals fully on your own. Lifestyle or Wellness Coaches are like Sports Coaches or Personal Trainers, in some respects,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but differ in many other ways. For example, they focus on helping you become a winner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not (usually) on your physical performance, but on lifestyle and work-related goals.
Perhaps you are fed-up with the way your life is going. Or, you may want some useful exercises to combat negative emotions or bad habits or patterns. You may want to feel lovable or less lonely, build life skills,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], make better choices, manage your moods better, find passion or purpose or motivation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be your ideal weight, master rejection or stress or self-empowerment, and so forth.
(c)2009 Arlene K Unger. All rights reserved.
How to Choose Professional Help?
Treatment usually occurs in-person and weekly, but for many clients with less serious problems, effective counseling can occur online or on the phone and need not take a very long time to achieve results. Most health insurance policies offer coverage for psychological counseling sessions.
Counseling is a healing process, usually talk-based, that occurs in a confidential, safe and trusting environment. The Counselor assists the client in problem solving by listening, reflecting back, exploring deep feelings and asking provocative questions. Counseling offers clients a unique opportunity to reflect on, understand, and challenge their irrational thinking. The client learns to accept themselves are as they are through understanding and then to make fundamental behavioral changes for the better. The thrust of psychological treatment is to help the client find the strength to make these fundamental changes in order to cope with their unique challenges.
Coaches are usually more focused on the client's stated, specific, performance or life goals such as positive functioning, achievement, focused action plans,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and specific outcomes. In contrast, Counselors focus on not always obvious deep feelings and ideas and identifying the causes of dysfunctional behaviors (the understanding of which provides insight into positive behavioral change). They may work closely with a Psychiatrist, If warranted, for medication management which can be quite beneficial in some cases.
There are a few basic areas where counseling and coaching differ. The subjects, goals, relationships, and treatments are not the same for these two helping modalities.
Self-Help, Wellness/Lifestyle Coaching and Counseling from a licensed mental health professional all have an appropriate role to play for optimum mental health and living well.
Counseling and coaching differ in the function of the client relationship: Counselors are experts and Coaches are co-creative team partners. The function of change in coaching is to make the process enjoyable and motivating for the client. In counseling, the process of change might be emotionally painful until the client reaches equilibrium at which time deep personal insight and, therefore, behavioral modification can be achieved.
Coaches can take classes and may be do an internship and continuing education, while Counselors must show years of coursework, a post-graduate degree,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and pass state sanctioned licensing exams, plus take periodic, mandatory, continuing education. Many psychological counselors hold a number of additional certifications, e.g. Employee Assistance Programs, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, and so forth.
Both counseling and coaching can play a valuable role in helping you achieve your goals when self-help and friends are no longer enough. All methods have a useful role to play, and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in fact, work well together at appropriate times.
A Psychological Counselor, aka Psychologist, is a trained (at an accredited school) and licensed (by the State) mental health professional that may use one or more approaches to helping their clients achieve some level of self-understanding and, thus, behavior modification. There are many different “schools” of mental health counseling thought, and many different mental health professions that can offer effective therapy.
Today, most Psychiatrists (a Medical Doctor specializing in mental health) focus on symptom relief through medication management and usually do not do much talk-based therapy beyond ongoing medical and symptom assessment. The combination of medication management plus Psychological Counseling has been shown to be very effective for many of the more difficult cases.
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Buteyko believed that people breathed too much. I believed that people didn’t breathe enough. I encouraged people to practice deep breathing. His mantra was "deep breathing is death!"

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Author's Bio:
NOT when you're out of control or extremely angry. NOT on the spur of the moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. A confrontation should be thought through and planned,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. What are the consequences,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Will I lose a job,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? A friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Will I put myself in danger?
Confrontation on the other hand is often thought of being in someone's face. Assertiveness often considers the feelings of the other while confrontation doesn't care about whose feelings are hurt.
Confrontation always leads to anger with me. How can I confront without becoming angry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Assertion is often defined as defending one's rights. However getting a clear picture of what are rights are can be difficult. When can I say "this far and no farther"? The assertiveness 'movement' gave rise in the 90s to teaching about boundaries. While dated, the book "When I say NO,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I feel guilty" has good definitions of rights and some tools for asserting yourself. The whole "Boundaries" series of books can help an individual define where they must "draw the line".
What is the difference between confrontation and assertion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Confrontation can be thought of as "the last resort" when you've tried everything else you can think of and still feel you are being wronged.
If you have a situation you'd like a "second opinion" on, write me at the email address below.
I don't really care if I upset the other person. Why should I be concerned about other's feelings?
Confrontation may never become an issue with you if you are able to "let things slide". The easygoing phlegmatic most often puts up with the negative behavior of others without feeling the need to confront. Confrontation becomes necessary when you believe that your rights or your safety or your self-respect are being trampled under foot.
When is confrontation really necessary?
If you take a couple of temperament tests you may find you are a choleric. Choleric's are hard driving, straightforward individuals who don't really care much about other's feelings. You may have grown up in an environment or culture where being bluntly honest was valued over the feelings of others. While you may not be concerned with another's feelings, it still makes sense to avoid alienating people if possible - and this involves taking feelings into account.
By Hal Warfield
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Oh, get over it. No, I'm just kidding. While we seem to return to temperament over and over again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is true that outgoing cholerics (see FAQs on Temperament and Personality) and critical melancholies find it easier to confront than introverted phlegmatics. Culture plays a large part in this too - in the easygoing south it may be more difficult to confront than in the Northeast. But in this we must be careful of stereotyping. This is true with gender as well - it may seem easier to confront if you are a man; the stereotype is that women are raised not to confront. Whatever the reason,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], confrontation is neither always easy nor comfortable.
Confrontation almost always has a strong emotional element included. If you feel you've been mistreated and wronged, anger is bound to be a part of your reaction. And, in truth, anger may be appropriate if you feel confrontation is the only answer. The trick is to confront - that is to lay out your demands and the consequences - without letting anger control you. Use the anger to give energy to your approach. Remember that confrontation may be your "last resort" before ending a relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a job, or a friendship.
What is the best way to confront?
Be SURE you're not bluffing when you offer consequences and be sure you think through the possible outcomes before you confront someone.
Why do I have so much trouble confronting people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Planning to confront means writing down your thoughts and feelings. It also has a "consequences" section. In other words, you confront and offer consequences. If you don't stop this behavior then I'll be forced to (fill in the blank).
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"My mother was a pretty woman, known for being bright and outspoken," Gresham said. "People who knew her have told me we are very much alike - both in looks and in personality."
Beulah Melton had been picking up information on her husband's death and would have been a "problem" for Kimball at the trial, Gresham said.
Fourteen-year-old Till of Chicago was visiting relatives in the Mississippi Delta at the end of August when he was kidnapped, tortured and killed after he was accused of whistling at a white store clerk.
Kimball, Milam's friend, had lived in Glendora for a short time, managing a local cotton gin, and had an account at the gas station where Melton worked, his daughter told me.
In 2003, Keith Beauchamp, a New York filmmaker, discovered a copy of an old newsreel showing the story of Clinton Melton's murder. Beauchamp incorporated the reel into a documentary on Emmett Till, and made sure that Gresham had a copy for her family.
Then in December, Melton was murdered only four miles from where Emmett Till's body was dumped into the Tallahatchie River six months earlier.
"Kimball's story would be hard for any jury to believe, because they would know.... "[You] cannot provoke a Negro attendant to talk like that no matter how much you irritate him, particularly a trusted Negro such as Clinton Melton."
Author's Bio:
(A partial excerpt from "Where Rebels Roost, Mississippi Civil Rights Revisited," by Susan Klopfer. Copyright 2005 Susan Klopfer.)
*****
To arrange for Susan Klopfer to speak to your organization on Emmett Till or civil rights history, contact her at
ONE WIRE SERVICE sent a staff member to cover the Kimball trial, and the only Mississippi newspaper that sent a staffer was Carter's Greenville Delta Democrat-Times. The late reporter David Halberstam remained in Mississippi after the Milam-Bryant trial and wrote as a freelancer.
Clinton and Beulah Melton's daughter never moved from the Delta.
Kimball Loses Bid for Freedom on Bond
"My grandfather was so upset, he left Glendora and never came back."
Three justices of the peace held a preliminary hearing for the white gin operator and refused bond. Officers returned Kimball to jail to await action of the grand jury which meets next March.
But Beulah Melton drowned.
WHY ARE WE STILL talking about the murder of 14-year-old Emmett TilL some 50-plus years postmortem? I blogged on the topic last August upon the 56th anniversary of this young African American boy’s brutal death back in 1955.
On arrest, Kimball claimed Melton shot at him first. McGarrh [the white owner of the gas station] denied this, adding that Melton did not have a gun at any time during the quarrel. A bullet hole was found in the windshield of Melton's parked car.
In a later investigation after Mrs. Melton's death, Medgar Evers discovered the club had given the widow only twenty-six dollars and that a local white minister had given her sixty dollars of his own.
Melton's widow told Medgar Evers she feared justice would not be done if the NAACP interested itself in the case, and asked him not to become involved. "Her wishes were respected."
By Susan Klopfer
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Officially, her mother's death was blamed on faulty driving. "Later, a relative told me that was not true, that everyone knew she was run off the road," Gresham said.
She keeps a picture of her mother who looks like she could be her twin. While she has never owned a picture of her father, Gresham said she would have liked to know him better and continues to question what happened to her mother on that frightening day.
From news accounts and the talk around Glendora, there was no provocation of her father's killing. It was outright murder, according to white witnesses, including the white service station owner. The Melton family was well known in Glendora.
Times were now more dangerous for Mississippi's African Americans. One white Glendora resident,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], asked by a reporter for his opinion of both the Till and Melton murders told him, "There's open season on the Negroes now. They've got no protection..."
* * * * *
Relatives took in Delores Melton Gresham and her siblings, and Gresham continued to live in Glendora with her grandmother.
"[He] got up there before those twelve Mississippians and told them a story about his relations with Melton that flatly contradicts all the Mississippi mores.... Kimball said he went inside and told McGarrh that Clinton was getting pretty nasty and asked him to total up his account and he'd be back and settle up; when he returned a few minutes later someone started firing at him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hit him, and he went back to his car and got his shot gun.
Gresham, a toddler at the time, recalled being trapped inside her mother's car as it sank to the bottom of a murky bayou near Glendora. A relative driving by saved her life and that of her baby brother.
As Aug. 28 brings the 57th anniversary of this modern civil rights event, I remember doing the research back in 2004 and 2005, while looking into another Mississippi murder that was less publicized than Till’s killing.
Yet her story ends on a higher note.
"It was joyous," Delores Gresham said. "We talk to each other on the phone several times a week, and I'm meeting other relatives through my brother."
AS SOON AS KIMBALL left, his boss told him that he had better leave, fast. But his car was out of gas and he had to fill it first.
"When Kimball drove up to the station, my father's boss told my father to go out and fill up his car. But when he was done filling the car, Kimball went into a rage and said he only wanted a dollar's worth of gas, and that he was going to go home and get his gun to shoot him.
Apparently Kimball did the most damage to himself when he got on the stand, as Halberstam told it:
But talking to the family of Clinton Melton,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], still residing in the Mississippi Delta, they assured me that others should hear their murdered relative's story, as well:
Clinton Melton had lived there all his life and, "for once, white people spoke out against the killing of a negro. The local Lions Club adopted a resolution branding the murder 'an outrage' [and pledging to donate $400 to the family]," Myrlie Evers, the wife of slain civil rights leader Medgar Evers, later wrote.
A Delta man by the name of Elmer Kimball murdered Clinton Melton, the attendant at a small service station,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and then nineteen days later, Melton's young wife was killed, only a week before Kimball's murder trial opened.
LITTLE ATTENTION was given to the death of Gresham's mother that occurred on or around December 21, 1955, approximately nineteen days after (her father) Clinton Melton was killed on December 3.
"[Melton] was no out-of-state smart alec. He was home-grown and "highly respected.".... There was no question of an insult to Southern womanhood,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. There was only an argument about ... gasoline.
AN ANGRY SOUTHERN newspaper publisher,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Hodding Carter, quickly reacted to the murder of one of "Mississippi's own," comparing it to the Till case in a Delta-Times editorial:
The following year, the documentary was shown on a Chicago television station, resulting quite by chance in one of Gresham's brothers discovering his sister. A family reunion took place that summer.
Lee McGarrh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Melton's employer, testified that Kimball fired without provocation, and Melton was unarmed. He said Kimball became angry at the Negro during an argument over gasoline for Kimball's car. McGarrh said Kimball declared he was going home for his gun and [sic] kill Melton.
***
Sumner, Miss. (AP) -December 28,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 1955 - Elmer Kimball today lost his bid for freedom on bond while awaiting grand jury action on a charge of murdering a Negro man.
This time cameras were barred, not only from the courtroom but also from the entire courthouse property, and no press table was set up.
"There was no pressure by the NAACP, "credited" with the outcome of the Till trial.... So another "not guilty" verdict was written at Sumner this week. And it served to cement the opinion of the world that no matter how strong the evidence, nor how flagrant is the apparent crime, a white man cannot be convicted in Mississippi for killing a negro."
The sentiment [for conviction] was particularly strong in the Glendora community where Kimball shot Melton and where both the deceased and the defendant were well known, according to Halberstam, "Elsewhere in Talahatchie County, of course, it tended to become the usual matter of a white man and a black man."
Once the J. W. Milam and Roy Bryant trial (and acquittal) in Sumner, Mississippi ended for the murder of Emmett Till, less than a month later in the nearby small cotton town of Glendora, a black service station attendant and father of four children was killed by a friend of Milam's.
Now his name is frequently appearing as national and international reporters, civil rights observers and historians link some aspects of Till's Mississippi lynching to the recent killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida.
Melton's daughter, Deloris Melton Gresham, was a toddler when her parents were killed, but she later was told what occurred at the service station:
Kimball is charged with murder in the shotgun slaying of Clinton Melton, Negro service station attendant at nearby Glendora and father of four children. The accused man testified he fired in self-defense after someone shot at him three times. Kimball said he didn't know who fired until he returned the fire and killed Melton.
Unlike some earlier Mississippi white on black murders,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Kimball was charged for the murder and although not convicted, spent some time in jail:
"The gas station owner tried to talk him down, but couldn't. He told him my father was a good negro and that he did not deserve to be hurt. He really pleaded with Kimball."
On the day of the murder, Kimball, 35, was driving a car borrowed from his friend, J.W. Milam,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one of the two men accused and acquitted of killing Till, when he drove to the gas station and asked for a fill-up.
AFTER FOUR AND one-half hours, the jurors walked in and announced their decision to acquit.
The hearing was held in the little courthouse where the sensational Emmett Till trial was held. Bond usually is refused in cases where a person is accused of a crime which carries a possible death sentence upon conviction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Kimball came right back and began shooting at my father. Another man was in his car with him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and yelled for him not to shoot. He jumped out of the car and ran into the station to hide.
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My client, Tamara, sounded dismayed. “I never seem to have any fun,” she said. “What do you mean?” I asked her. “What have you tried?”
And last, but not least, “Something that doesn’t end me up with a policeman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lawyer, doctor or therapist.”
“What’s your idea of fun?” I asked my friend who’s got a busy family and a full-time people-oriented job. “Being alone,” she replied.
By Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, the EQ Coach
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This is what I suspect and fear when most people tell me, “Let’s have some fun.” The snake loose in the classroom sort of thing. That is not my idea of “fun”. And now I see why things in offices go the way they do – someone considers “violent argument” to be “fun.” YIKES!!
Define your terms! When someone tells you to “have fun,” be curious and check it out. If it’s a professional giving you advice, such as a coach, or doctor, ask them WHY they are recommending,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “having fun” and what it means to them. It can mean add something pleasurable to your life, or remove some obstacle or annoyance, or do something new and/or different. It doesn’t have to mean putting a lamp shade on your head and dancing on the table.
However, I decided to take my therapist friend’s advice and ‘go have some fun.” After all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the house would still be unsold when I returned whether I thought about it or not, and I had done all I could.
So I went over to Alberta’s, for two hours of trying to talk around a screaming, nose-running, tantrum-throwing, stranger-hating two-year-old in a house that looked like a war zone and smelled like dirty diapers. I left a little early, not that it hadn’t been “fun.”
Rarely, beyond the high school/college years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is having fun going out and getting rowdy. I’m thinking of my friends years back whose marital counselor told them to “go out and have some fun.” So he got drunk, and they ended up spending the night in jail. That’ll do a lot for your marriage!
One of the last ones we took, I survived preparing for the trip and the usual travel hassles, made it to the resort, dealt with the lost reservations while the kids fought because they were tired and hungry, grubbed up some food when we found the restaurant closed, then finally got the boys settled, plopped down in a lounge chair by the pool and declared, “Let the vacation begin!” Five minutes later, the boys arrived, and one of them had a fish hook through his thumb. 5 hours of blood, sweat and tears later, more tired than I’d been before, I declared, a bit less sure this time, “Let the vacation begin?”
Another friend told me, “Not thinking OR feeling. Being in flow, and that can be humming and being lost in comfortable thought while I mop the kitchen floor, or playing a tennis match.”
Author's Bio:
DATING
Is it just me who gets puzzled when asked on a date, “What do you like to do for fun?” Maybe that’s particular to south Texas, but my answer to that question could go on for an hour. I find many things fun. It would be quicker to ask me what I don’t like to do for fun: Get hurt, Hurt someone else, or anything involving the District Attorney’s office.
Yet another said, “Anywhere without decisions or arguments.”
But having gotten my life mostly in order, I don’t look for danger, more hassle, or things that leave me fatigued or drained. These things to me are not “amusements.” I look for things that give me pleasure as I do them and leave me refreshed and relaxed.
Please, please don’t drag me to a smoke-filled bar where everyone’s drunk, or force me to stand in line an hour to ride some 5-minute ride at the amusement park, or drive around a half hour looking for a parking place in 100 degree heat, to then walk 1 mile to get to the Festival du Jour. These are not “fun” for me.
Am I the only one so easily pleased?
What elicited the comment was my complaining (well we all have feet of clay),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], about the fact that my house hasn’t sold. I take exception to this sort of response – “go have some fun” – for three reasons: #1, my “having fun” is not going to help my house get sold, #2, who’s in charge of defining the word “fun”? #3, it implies I am not at that moment “having fun,” which, sadly, leaves me to suspect that my companion-of-the-moment is not.
It happened again last week. I had a nice long talk with a good friend on the phone, which I enjoyed tremendously, and then as we got ready to hang up, she changed her tone of voice completely and said, “And let’s get together and have some FUN.”
Now, if you’ve been a single parent with two kids, you will know that while a family vacation is enjoyable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is not the prescription for a tired, overwhelmed single working mother. Or are your kids and your family vacations different than mine?
Just for the heck of it, I looked up “fun” in the dictionary, and now I see the problem. Here it is:
Of course it depends upon what you’re leaving at home. A snake-in-a-classroom kind of experience could be preferable to say, a sick husband, a broken toilet, telemarketers on the phone, Jehovah’s witnesses at the door, news that Uncle Roy is coming to visit, two kids fighting, and a dog with diarrhea. Everything’s relative.
“What’s YOUR idea of fun?” I asked. There was a pause, and then she said, “Actually, it’s most likely to occur when I’m not going looking for it.”
WHERE DO YOU FIND ‘FUN’?
Fun:
The other day my young friend Alberta invited me over. I work at home, and I’m sure it’s projection, but often someone will call me and say, “You need to get OUT. You need to have some FUN.” “Come on over,” she said. “We’ll have some FUN.”
THE GALLUP(like)POLL
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?
Perhaps the question those gentleman mean is “What can you and I do NEXT that would be fun?” Now that’s a fair question and quite answerable because it allows for the constraints of the situation—who’s involved, what the nature of our relationship is, where we are, how much time we have, how much money we’ve got, and what the temperature is!
I think of the person who told me, when I was a working single-parent with two boys expressing fatigue and the blahs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to go on a vacation, go have some fun. “All of you.”
Sadly, that question immediately tells me HE isn’t having “fun.” I’m almost always “having fun” or I’d be doing something different.
Furthermore, having Authenticity, as we call it in EQ, if I’m doing something, generally speaking I’m enjoying it and having fun. So at the point the gentleman asks me “What do you like to do for fun?” I could also answer in one word: “This.”
“Everything,” she said. “When we go out, it’s a hassle. Gotta get dressed up, it’s something else on the ‘to-do list, get a sitter, the kids cry, we argue about where to go, when we get there it’s crowded, there’s a parking hassle …”
My client Rebecca was sad. Her boyfriend had told her she was too serious and needed to have more fun. We went through the discussion again. Bottom line – she’s happy and content most of the time. The only time she’s miserable is when she’s doing those things “other people consider fun.”
It happens more often that I'd like. I'm enjoying myself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], having fun,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and there comes the dreaded "Let's go have some fun" statement.
We each have to discover our own definition of fun, sometimes over and over again, it’s a vital part of emotional intelligence and wellness, and its yours, all yours!
And consider it a projection of sorts. I don’t think I’ve ever asked someone that question,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or required it of them. It doesn’t seem relevant. I “am” fun, and we “are” fun, and it “happens.”
I chuckled to myself, with my warm tummy and feel-good feelings. I had just HAD fun.
What did I do?
RAISE CONSCIOUSNESS
“What you need to do is to have some fun,” a therapist friend of mine told me last month. I wasn’t there as his client, but I could be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if that sort of conversation continues. You see, I’d just had what I call “fun”, in visiting with him. He’s funny, he listens to me, he has interesting things to say, the phone calls weren’t for me, no terrorists attacked, no child was sticking a bean up its nose, and there were no sirened-vehicles involved.
SOMEONE ELSE’S IDEA OF FUN
YOU SAY ‘TOMATO’ I SAY ‘TOMATO’
1. What provides amusement or enjoyment; specifically: playful often boisterous action or speech
2. A mood for finding or making amusement
3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Violent or excited activity or argument (“let a snake loose in the classroom; then the fun began”)
Having fun is an important part of any wellness regime and good life, but it’s been defined, I fear, by people other than myself. I hear this from clients as well, who’ve been told by their therapists and coaches to take a vacation, get a massage, go dancing, or go white-water rafting.
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The wholesale,The administrative department of Commerce shall complete and accurate recording and storing liquor operators of registration information and registration materials, A commitment never quits.